Sonnets from the Portuguese (Sonnet 14)
If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
'I love her for her smile - her look - her way
Of speaking gently, -for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day'-
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee,-and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,-
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Greg and I asked his cousin, Adrian, to be the officiant of our ceremony. Adrian is not a minister, but will get ordained in order to marry us. When we asked him to do this for us, we knew that we would have to likely put a lot of time into writing the ceremony. I hadn't really started thinking about this yet, because I anticipated that it would be a huge, scary task.
Last night, I noticed the frame on our bedside table and asked Greg if he knew the story about when I'd gotten it. He said I hadn't told him yet, so I proceeded to flash back 11 years to when I was 15, working my first job at JCPenney in the housewares department. As in any retail store, things would come in and go on clearance and the employees would snatch them up before customers did. This frame was in our clearance bin one day, and I loved it - its a square stone frame with a relatively small opening for a picture, only 2in x 2in. There is a phrase etched into it: "But love me for love's sake, that evermore thou mayst love on, through love's eternity." I thought it was so romantic and beautiful, that I decided I had to have it.
At 15, I had never experienced such a romantic love, and I thought it best to save the frame until someone I felt this way about came along. Fast forward 11 years, and the frame had still never held a photo. Not for lack of relationships, or because I tucked it away and forgot about it... but because I never found the right person to fill that place.
And then came Greg.
There is a photo of one of our first dates, to a friends wedding, now in that frame. I put it in there no more than 2 weeks after it was taken.
After telling this story to Greg, who had never really noticed the frame before, we had a great evening together talking about the line from the poem. I googled the rest of the poem, and we read it together aloud. It was one of the most romantic things I've ever experienced; I felt such a deep connection to my fiance. We spent the next hour dissecting each line, each phrase, analyzing what the poet was trying to say, and then looked up others' interpretations of the poem. In general, the poem is written for the poet's husband, asking him to love her only for the sake of loving her. She asks him not to love her for certain characteristics she has, or her beauty, or because they think alike. All of those things may change and fade with time. One of the most interesting parts to me is on lines 9-12; "do not love me because you can wipe away my tears; for being with you, I may not have a need to cry!" Love is everlasting, but thing things you love about a person can change. She asks her husband to simply love her for the sake of loving her, because that is eternal.
Greg and I have chosen this poem, its analysis, and how it came to be of significance in our relationship as the theme for our wedding ceremony. I hope you enjoy it as much as we do!
Last night, I noticed the frame on our bedside table and asked Greg if he knew the story about when I'd gotten it. He said I hadn't told him yet, so I proceeded to flash back 11 years to when I was 15, working my first job at JCPenney in the housewares department. As in any retail store, things would come in and go on clearance and the employees would snatch them up before customers did. This frame was in our clearance bin one day, and I loved it - its a square stone frame with a relatively small opening for a picture, only 2in x 2in. There is a phrase etched into it: "But love me for love's sake, that evermore thou mayst love on, through love's eternity." I thought it was so romantic and beautiful, that I decided I had to have it.
At 15, I had never experienced such a romantic love, and I thought it best to save the frame until someone I felt this way about came along. Fast forward 11 years, and the frame had still never held a photo. Not for lack of relationships, or because I tucked it away and forgot about it... but because I never found the right person to fill that place.
And then came Greg.
There is a photo of one of our first dates, to a friends wedding, now in that frame. I put it in there no more than 2 weeks after it was taken.
After telling this story to Greg, who had never really noticed the frame before, we had a great evening together talking about the line from the poem. I googled the rest of the poem, and we read it together aloud. It was one of the most romantic things I've ever experienced; I felt such a deep connection to my fiance. We spent the next hour dissecting each line, each phrase, analyzing what the poet was trying to say, and then looked up others' interpretations of the poem. In general, the poem is written for the poet's husband, asking him to love her only for the sake of loving her. She asks him not to love her for certain characteristics she has, or her beauty, or because they think alike. All of those things may change and fade with time. One of the most interesting parts to me is on lines 9-12; "do not love me because you can wipe away my tears; for being with you, I may not have a need to cry!" Love is everlasting, but thing things you love about a person can change. She asks her husband to simply love her for the sake of loving her, because that is eternal.
Greg and I have chosen this poem, its analysis, and how it came to be of significance in our relationship as the theme for our wedding ceremony. I hope you enjoy it as much as we do!
Unity Ceremony
Greg and I got engaged in a river :) So my plan is to have one of my bridesmaids help us each before the wedding to write our vows and special phrases from the ceremony onto polished river rocks. Then during the ceremony, we will take our rocks and pour them together in a wooden display case like this one pictured here; its basically a shadow box. It will be a special piece of decor to have in our new home together!